Even the strongest man cannot claim that the reality of failed relationships does not affect them. When it comes to divorce, no one can escape the pain — not even the manliest man.
Gavin M. Hecker, a contributor for divorce blog Divorcedguygrinning.com, acknowledges this truth. During this turbulent time in his life, he fell victim to a whirlwind of emotions. With too many emotional states, he ended up channeling them through one of the best ways he could: singing.
With his separation and subsequent divorce, he dealt with emotions by creating an alternate personality. Through his music videos, he expressed all the hurt and pain. What seemed like a ludicrous idea turned out to be a lifesaver for his emotions.
Hecker is like any divorced man: in pain and problematic. But unlike others, he chose to rise above — and so should you.
The Incapability to Grieve Properly
Divorce is a patchwork of meetings with a local divorce attorney in Long Island, reaching a settlement with the ex, and calming the children down. Most women talk their feelings out; men, however, have the tendency to bottle up their feelings.
Thinking they can deal with it on their own, they choose not to express themselves to anyone. As a result, they experience depression and other physiological problems, such as high blood pressure and heart problems.
While the entire “Big Boys Don’t Cry” mentality projects a macho image to outsiders, it can eat you up inside. Failure to allow yourself to grieve or express your pain has a negative impact on your well-being.
Instead of being such a big man, it pays to take notes from Hecker’s methods.
Singing Your Emotions Out (Or Not)
So you’re not a songwriter like Hecker. You don’t have to resort to songwriting just to express what you feel. All you have to do is find a hobby or an outlet.
Talking to others is the top recommendation when it comes to dealing with divorce-related emotions. If you’re not comfortable yet, find something to distract you. Writing down what you feel sorts out the emotions for the day. Find an outlet that works best for you.
Don’t fall for the “Big Boys Don’t Cry” mantra; instead, pull a Hecker and sing your emotions out. You’ll feel better.